But this parenting thing is hard. Add this to another already hard thing, marriage, and there's going to be struggle.
This morning after making a hearty breakfast, Jake commented "That's the first Saturday breakfast we've had in a while.."
That comment didn't bother me, because he's right. It had been a while. Saturday morning breakfasts were a tradition we started early on in our relationship. This came from my own Mom's tradition of getting up on Saturdays to cook us all Jiffy Blueberry Muffins or pancakes, bacon, and eggs. So now I continue that tradition in our own home. But since SJ made her entrance 11 weeks ago.. those breakfasts have been few and far between.
I recognize that getting up and making breakfast is a way to remind my husband that though right now SJ has been consuming most of my time.. he's still my number one after Jesus. It's important he's told that. It's important he's reminded that before SJ there was JP. And when SJ is out of the house there will still be JP. God designed this order for just that, order. There's power in that.
We see it time and time again. Kids are born and the marriage takes a back seat. I'm convinced that's why so many marriages end in divorce. 'My kids are my world." Says every Mom who forgets the order. By keeping my husband the priority he needs to be, I keep my family together. Without JP there is no SJ.
This new mom thing is hard.
Many times I feel like Jake should just know that I'm overwhelmed or tired. He should know that I want him to come home and take the baby for a little while as I'm exhausted. But he's tired too. He's worked all day too. Men are different. If his brain worked the same as mine, he wouldn't be a dude. I can't assume he just gets it. I have to communicate.. nicely. Not by silently huffing and puffing, rolling my eyes, or speaking with a short sarcastic tone. Jake doesn't get "it" unless I explain. And that's hard to do sometimes. AND sometimes when I do explain, he still doesn't get "it". He's a dude. Waffles and spaghetti. If you've ever heard that analogy.
My point in sharing this is to be transparent.
To remind you new mommies that before your baby was your husband. He's important. And in the grand scheme of things more important than that baby. (Hard to say, but true.)
Remind him he's still a priority.
Remind him without him there is no baby.
Remind him that days will come when this tiny human won't be nearly as needy - and we'll be sad about how much she's grown.
And in the meantime - take the time to date your husband. Set time aside for just the two of you.
That seems hard now.. but Ive found taking 15 mins to snuggle on the couch after the babe goes down has done wonders for us. Reminds us of "US".
I love you, Jacob.
Thanks for making me a Mama - and for loving me in all the crazy.
You the real MVP.
