Why am I constantly striving to live on my own when it always ends up sucking?
Why do I allow myself to be ignorant to God's plan for my life?
Why don't I seek him fully?
Why don't I trust him in the big things?
Why don't I trust him in the small things?
Why do I let worry get the best of me?
Why don't I let God's love fulfill me all the time?
Why do I think that I need something more?
Why do I let Satan get the best of me?
Why do I let him take my joy?
Why do I do anything that isn't pleasing to my Savior?
Why am I so selfish?
God,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I feel like I'm always saying I'm sorry. More and more as life rolls on, I'm coming to find that anything I ever thought my life should be, may not be. And that's ok. I'm coming to realize that you are who you say you are. You have plans, big ones. Plans that you have set ahead of me to be fulfilled, in your time. Not my own. God, you're awesome. And I love you so much. But not enough. God rid me of me, and fill me with you. God that you would drain out of me what is human, and fill it with what is holy. God that daily you would remind me of who's I am. Jesus, I want my life to bring praise to your heart and honor to your name. Fix in me what is broken and restore it so that it can work to further your kingdom.
I love you. Help me mean that more.
Amen
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
My People
 |
| "I want to touch him! I want to touch him!" -Eva Mae |
I don't know if I'm just overly emotional, or if has to do with the fact that I am a girl, but this picture leaves me speechless and on a few occasions has rendered me to tears....
God is good.
I feel blessed beyond measure that I was able to witness this, to be a part of this family.
These are my people. People that have poured wisdom and truth into my life, along with a significant amount of love. Through a year that was filled with uncertainty and change, they've been a constant. Reminding me that God is bigger than the boogie man and kicking me in the butt when I chose self pity over God's joy. I can't begin to describe how thankful I am that God wove them into the plan for my life. To even think about still being in Gainesville where I would have missed out on this support and these relationships saddens me greatly. God knew.
And along with God, Alfred knew. He does that. A lot. Ask him sometime, he'll tell you about it.
Anyway...
When I first made the decision to come home, selfishly I thought "My family needs me". When really it wasn't that I was needed, but that I needed. I needed the support and listening ears that Kami, Alfred, Heather, and Scooter provided. I needed the tough love that they were oh so good at giving. And I needed the friendship that they had to offer. Every bit of what Christ uses them for, I needed.
God uses his people in the lives of his people. It may sound like I'm talking in circles, but it's never rang more true in my life than it has the last year. Kami, Alfred, Heather, and Scooter have become family. How awesome is it that as God's people, we are family. They took that literally, as we all should, and took me in as if I had been a part of their lives for years.
I've laughed, cried, and laughed some more with these people, my people.
Galations 6:2 says "Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ." -- They took on my pain and hurt with me.
1 Timothy 2:10 says "I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them, intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them." -- Not only did they pray with me, but I know they consistently prayed for me and my family.
1 John 3:18 says "Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions." -- They did that. Kami, Alfred, Heather, and Scooter exemplify Christ's love. Unconditional and unending.
I find myself unable to conclude this entry....mostly because I feel like there is so much more I can say. Not only have they shown me more kindness than is explainable, but they've shown me how to love like Jesus, taught me that compassion is where it's at, and that forgiveness is absolutely necessary to walk hand in hand with the big Guy up stairs.
Thank you Kami for wisdom, reassurance, crunchy tuna, and countless giggles.
Thank you Heather for walking with me all that time ago, for candy corn and peanuts, and listening when I needed an ear.
Thank you Scooter for telling me like it is.
And thank you Alfie for always being right.
I love you! You're my people.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Yeah girl.
Alright.
God is good.
He's got a master plan.
DUH he's the MASTER!
You know what he gives?
Rest. Peace. Contentment. Belonging. Satisfaction. Encouragement.
Girls....you don't need a man to complete you.
Only Jesus can do that.
When you recognize that, being single is no longer a bad thing!
It's what gives you more time to seek him!
Single life should NOT be spent looking for a partner.
Single life should be spent LIVING.
God will place your partner right in front of you while you're LIVING for him.
He will, I promise.
His plan. Not yours.
His timing. Not yours.
I know what you're thinking... "But I'm wasting all this time! I want to be with my future husband now!"
Nope.
He who waits on God loses no time, because God's timing is perfect.
You see...God isn't late. And he's definitely not early.
He knows what he's doing.....don't worry about it!
He's got you! He promises! And so do I :)
SO GO! Live!
God is good.
He's got a master plan.
DUH he's the MASTER!
You know what he gives?
Rest. Peace. Contentment. Belonging. Satisfaction. Encouragement.
Girls....you don't need a man to complete you.
Only Jesus can do that.
When you recognize that, being single is no longer a bad thing!
It's what gives you more time to seek him!
Single life should NOT be spent looking for a partner.
Single life should be spent LIVING.
God will place your partner right in front of you while you're LIVING for him.
He will, I promise.
His plan. Not yours.
His timing. Not yours.
I know what you're thinking... "But I'm wasting all this time! I want to be with my future husband now!"
Nope.
He who waits on God loses no time, because God's timing is perfect.
You see...God isn't late. And he's definitely not early.
He knows what he's doing.....don't worry about it!
He's got you! He promises! And so do I :)
SO GO! Live!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Throw your map out the window.
Here's the thing. I'm a girl. I have a lot of ideas about how my life should be. I have so many plans that I can't even enjoy where I'm at in life, because I'm so focused on how to get to the future that I've had planned since I was 5. Or at least I used to.
Here's what I've learned.
When you're young people ask, what do you want to be? But the truth is, that doesn't matter. It's all about who's you are. I am Christ's child. Through that, I will become what I am to be, because I will be exactly what he created me for. What I have a hard time wrapping my mind around is that it doesn't matter what "that" is. It doesn't matter what I am because if I am seeking Christ, I will be fulfilling the purpose that was set for me before the earth was formed.
Here's what I've learned.
My plans are just that, MINE. Do you know where my plans got me? To a college 3 hours away from the support system I needed, majoring in a subject that was more stressful than satisfying and, surrounded by temptation that I gave into, time and time again. My plans produced failure, frustration, and immense amounts of hurt.
The best thing I ever did was throw the map that I had drawn, in the trash.
I picked up the only map I knew would lead me home. God's word.
There's a whole lot to my story. And I don't even know the ending, except I do.
God's Kingdom. That's my ending. That's my plan. That's what I'm striving for.
Everything else is temporary and insignificant.
For the first time ever. I can say and truly believe that I'm ok. I'm right where God has me, as he has me. I don't know where I'll be in 5 years, or even in 2 years for that matter. What I know, is that I am held in the palm of my Creator's hand and that he has a map drawn that will lead me home.
He is satisfaction.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. Psalm 63:5
He satisfies more than the richest feast, so why are we still eating at McDonalds?
What's it going to take for us to fully grasp that he is the ultimate everything. Our voids cannot be filled with the natural, but only with the supernatural.
Satisfaction means meeting expectations, fulfilling needs and desires.
Christ fulfills every need, quenches every desire, and meets every expectation.
To be honest, I never really understood that, until now. And even when Satan throws doubt at me, I can cast him out and proclaim that my satisfaction is found in my Jesus and that his deception to make me believe otherwise is futile. For even when my flesh doubts, my soul states that I am whole in my Jesus.
And that, ladies and Gentleman, is all that matters.
Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. Psalm 90:14
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Beautiful
I got up this morning, and in my head I was singing "Beautiful" by Phil Wickham. I turned it on, and had a straight up worship sesh laying in my bed, at home.
Beautiful is defined as this...
I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful
I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who You are
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who You are
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
Beautiful is defined as this...
1. having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind:
2. excellent of its kind:
3. wonderful; very pleasing or satisfying.
4. the concept of beauty (usually preceded by the ).
5. ( used with a plural verb 
) beautiful things or people collectively (usually preceded by the )
) beautiful things or people collectively (usually preceded by the ) 6 .the ideal of beauty (usually preceded by the ):
7. wonderful; fantastic:
8. extraordinary; incredible:
God is every bit of those words in the definition.
The first definition stuck out at me most. "having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about..etc" --
Our creator is everything.
He's everything we need to be satisfied and whole.
He's enough.
And that is beautiful.
Have you taken a moment to sit quietly in the awe of a God who designed you before time?
He loves you. And that word love, get's thrown around too easily now days.
His love for you is a love that doesn't waiver. It's full and unconditional.
He's everything that is wonderful, fantastic, genuine, passionate, and amazing.
It's taken me too long to begin to understand the fullness of the love that God offers, don't be like me. Take him now, don't waste any more time! He died because he wants you!
He loves you...will you let him in?
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Heat, Beach Retreat, and a Life Change.
I've had the most amazing weekend. One that has literally changed my life forever.
I've been a Christian for a LONG time. I've claimed Christ as my Savior since I was 4, and have since done my best to live in a way that represents him. But until this weekend...most of that time between being 4 and now at 20, was out of habit, or because I knew it was the right thing. It's different now.
There's no doubt in my mind that I loved Jesus, and I won't discredit the last 16 years of my Christian walk. But after this weekend, I am forever changed. Here's what happened...
I went on a trip with my church, up to Panama City, we call it "Beach Retreat". Its just 4 days of worship, fellowship, food, and fun. But along with all the fun, comes an encounter with God like no other I've ever experienced. There's something about setting aside a weekend just to worship, we come prepared to surrender. It's preparation that we shouldn't just have for BR, but for every day life.
Friday night was a great service. God reminded me of how good he was, and how he can do the things he says he can do. We have a tendency to only see the pain when going through tragedy, but if we stop and look back, it's amazing to me to see the good that was interwoven in that tragedy. How God was working even when I thought he wasn't. Friday night was good night.
Which is why Satan stepped in.
I'm 20, I moved back home, I'm still in school, I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not an 'adult'...Other people my age are so much further than I am. Why am I not where they are? Why am I not engaged yet? Why am I so behind, God?
Saturday morning service was great, but Satan still had a hold. I was allowing in his lies again. I took a nap that afternoon to get away from everyone, and had a sweet talk with a sweet Girl who came and like a good friend reminded me that I'm not the only one. That Satan doesn't single anyone out, and that I wasn't alone.
Saturday evening came, and amazing things happened. First off the worship was fantastic, never in my life have I worshiped my Savior with such awe and surrender. I felt him. Even when I felt like healing would never come, he was there and he was healing. The message brought was something that I had been struggling with for a while. God's plan. It sounds inappropriate to say that I struggle with God's plan, but I do everyday. Or I did, still do, but differently now. Life isn't a bed of roses. As a follower of Christ, I know this. BUT as a follower of Christ, I also know that he has a plan. A plan that is far greater than my human mind could ever fathom. Along with life, the plan isn't always a bed of roses. It's because our focus should be on the eternal, not the temporary.
You see I've spent the last year and a half back home, being obedient to what God asked, but questioning him every step of the way. What right do I have to question my Creator? None. Long story short, we're not just to accept God's plan, but love it! Jesus is everything, truly everything. And no matter our hearts desires, or our "I think I need"s, they're insignificant and unimportant.
During the invitation, I was praying. I had my face in my hands and with a broken heart was handing my questions to my Jesus. I was done questioning, I am done questioning. I'm just here. I just want to 'be' in Jesus. Even if that's all I ever do. As I was praying, I began to feel God's peace. As I continued praying, as physical as physical feels, Jesus gave me a hug. Jesus gave me a hug. I'm so unworthy but still he loves me. He wrapped his mighty arms around me and spoke so clearly to my heart, "Taylor, I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know." And just like that I was lost. Lost in Jesus. My eyes were closed, and all I saw was my Silhouette, engulfed in purple. Purple represents royalty, in this case Christ's royalty. I was wrapped in Jesus, and he was filling, completing, and satisfying every bit of me.
Like I stated before, I've been a Christian a LONG time. And throughout that time, being obedient, was what I did because of a promise for the desires of my heart. Being obedient wasn't what I did because it's all I have to give to a God who gave it all.
I now don't just love Jesus because he saved me, but because he completely satisfies every bit of me. I love him! So much! I talked in an earlier post, about being content where God had me but not as he had me. I was still seeking more more more, and not more of Jesus but more of something else that was supposed to fulfill me. Many times I saw that fulfillment coming in a husband, someone to physically hold me. But Jesus did that this weekend, and is still doing that. He's everything.
With a completely new mindset I finally see who Christ is. I finally see his importance. I finally see him as not just the number one priority, but as THE priority. This is me, stepping up. I'm open to whatever God has entailed for me, and I'm going to do my best not to question him. He is absolutely fantastic, I couldn't ask for a better anything. He's it.
There's no end to his love.
He's with us.
Nothing in this world that could take him away.
He's with us.
I've been a Christian for a LONG time. I've claimed Christ as my Savior since I was 4, and have since done my best to live in a way that represents him. But until this weekend...most of that time between being 4 and now at 20, was out of habit, or because I knew it was the right thing. It's different now.
There's no doubt in my mind that I loved Jesus, and I won't discredit the last 16 years of my Christian walk. But after this weekend, I am forever changed. Here's what happened...
I went on a trip with my church, up to Panama City, we call it "Beach Retreat". Its just 4 days of worship, fellowship, food, and fun. But along with all the fun, comes an encounter with God like no other I've ever experienced. There's something about setting aside a weekend just to worship, we come prepared to surrender. It's preparation that we shouldn't just have for BR, but for every day life.
Friday night was a great service. God reminded me of how good he was, and how he can do the things he says he can do. We have a tendency to only see the pain when going through tragedy, but if we stop and look back, it's amazing to me to see the good that was interwoven in that tragedy. How God was working even when I thought he wasn't. Friday night was good night.
Which is why Satan stepped in.
I'm 20, I moved back home, I'm still in school, I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not an 'adult'...Other people my age are so much further than I am. Why am I not where they are? Why am I not engaged yet? Why am I so behind, God?
Saturday morning service was great, but Satan still had a hold. I was allowing in his lies again. I took a nap that afternoon to get away from everyone, and had a sweet talk with a sweet Girl who came and like a good friend reminded me that I'm not the only one. That Satan doesn't single anyone out, and that I wasn't alone.
Saturday evening came, and amazing things happened. First off the worship was fantastic, never in my life have I worshiped my Savior with such awe and surrender. I felt him. Even when I felt like healing would never come, he was there and he was healing. The message brought was something that I had been struggling with for a while. God's plan. It sounds inappropriate to say that I struggle with God's plan, but I do everyday. Or I did, still do, but differently now. Life isn't a bed of roses. As a follower of Christ, I know this. BUT as a follower of Christ, I also know that he has a plan. A plan that is far greater than my human mind could ever fathom. Along with life, the plan isn't always a bed of roses. It's because our focus should be on the eternal, not the temporary.
You see I've spent the last year and a half back home, being obedient to what God asked, but questioning him every step of the way. What right do I have to question my Creator? None. Long story short, we're not just to accept God's plan, but love it! Jesus is everything, truly everything. And no matter our hearts desires, or our "I think I need"s, they're insignificant and unimportant.
During the invitation, I was praying. I had my face in my hands and with a broken heart was handing my questions to my Jesus. I was done questioning, I am done questioning. I'm just here. I just want to 'be' in Jesus. Even if that's all I ever do. As I was praying, I began to feel God's peace. As I continued praying, as physical as physical feels, Jesus gave me a hug. Jesus gave me a hug. I'm so unworthy but still he loves me. He wrapped his mighty arms around me and spoke so clearly to my heart, "Taylor, I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know." And just like that I was lost. Lost in Jesus. My eyes were closed, and all I saw was my Silhouette, engulfed in purple. Purple represents royalty, in this case Christ's royalty. I was wrapped in Jesus, and he was filling, completing, and satisfying every bit of me.
Like I stated before, I've been a Christian a LONG time. And throughout that time, being obedient, was what I did because of a promise for the desires of my heart. Being obedient wasn't what I did because it's all I have to give to a God who gave it all.
I now don't just love Jesus because he saved me, but because he completely satisfies every bit of me. I love him! So much! I talked in an earlier post, about being content where God had me but not as he had me. I was still seeking more more more, and not more of Jesus but more of something else that was supposed to fulfill me. Many times I saw that fulfillment coming in a husband, someone to physically hold me. But Jesus did that this weekend, and is still doing that. He's everything.
With a completely new mindset I finally see who Christ is. I finally see his importance. I finally see him as not just the number one priority, but as THE priority. This is me, stepping up. I'm open to whatever God has entailed for me, and I'm going to do my best not to question him. He is absolutely fantastic, I couldn't ask for a better anything. He's it.
There's no end to his love.
He's with us.
Nothing in this world that could take him away.
He's with us.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Slacking.
Yep. I've been slacking. I've still been in God's word, but when I think about blogging...I'm immediately filled with anxiety. Things like...what will I write, it has to be perfect, I need lots of scripture, if it doesn't sound deep people won't want to hear it, it has to flow, has to sound like it came from God's mouth....and then it hit me. I'M NOT GOD.
Yes, whatever I post on here will be something that the Holy Spirit has shown me in my studying..but it doesn't need to be perfect, super theological, or sound exactly right. It just has to be an honest proclamation of what my Jesus is speaking to my heart.
So honestly? Jesus has been telling me to step up.
That's probably a lot of the reason I haven't blogged....and like I said before, I've been in the word..but sporadically not daily. When God calls you out, it's scary. And no as Christians we have no reason to be afriad, and to say that we can't help it is bogus...but sometimes it happens.
God has called me to something big. I don't even know what it is, or where it is, or with who it will be with. All I know is that it's big. Now the 'bigness' behind the word big could vary. What seems big to me, may seem small to you. We're all built differently. The point is that whatever we see as "big" is just another thing in God's eyes. A thing that if he calls you to, he will equip you to follow through. I don't have to be able I just have to be willing. You don't have to be able you just have to be willing.
Truthfully I don't know that I'm willing...or at least I haven't been. Which is why I've been avoiding blogging... I've been avoiding God. As silly as that sounds, because duh, it's not possible.
In all reality, God has called us all to something Greater. Something beyond ourselves that seems impossible but something that God wants to use us in to change us and the people that we interact with.
It's time to step up.
It's time to stop being a coward and to be a sold-out lover of my Savior.
_______________________________________
Father,
I come to you now with a heavy heart. A sorry heart. A heart that wants more than anything for you to be the number one priority in my life. I know that you've called me to something far greater than myself, and I'm scared that I won't live up to the expectations you or other people have for me. God I cast out that spirit of fear in Jesus name, and ask that you would replace it with a spirit of confidence and diligence to seek you and your will out. God that you would make clear the path you've laid out for my life. Father I pray for anyone reading this who is dealing with the same bout of fear or insecurity. God I cast out those feelings and pray forward confidence and a boldness to step up. Father thank you for a love that knows no boundaries or conditions...thank you for having a plan, and going before me, after me, and all around me. I love you.
Amen.
Yes, whatever I post on here will be something that the Holy Spirit has shown me in my studying..but it doesn't need to be perfect, super theological, or sound exactly right. It just has to be an honest proclamation of what my Jesus is speaking to my heart.
So honestly? Jesus has been telling me to step up.
That's probably a lot of the reason I haven't blogged....and like I said before, I've been in the word..but sporadically not daily. When God calls you out, it's scary. And no as Christians we have no reason to be afriad, and to say that we can't help it is bogus...but sometimes it happens.
God has called me to something big. I don't even know what it is, or where it is, or with who it will be with. All I know is that it's big. Now the 'bigness' behind the word big could vary. What seems big to me, may seem small to you. We're all built differently. The point is that whatever we see as "big" is just another thing in God's eyes. A thing that if he calls you to, he will equip you to follow through. I don't have to be able I just have to be willing. You don't have to be able you just have to be willing.
Truthfully I don't know that I'm willing...or at least I haven't been. Which is why I've been avoiding blogging... I've been avoiding God. As silly as that sounds, because duh, it's not possible.
In all reality, God has called us all to something Greater. Something beyond ourselves that seems impossible but something that God wants to use us in to change us and the people that we interact with.
It's time to step up.
It's time to stop being a coward and to be a sold-out lover of my Savior.
_______________________________________
Father,
I come to you now with a heavy heart. A sorry heart. A heart that wants more than anything for you to be the number one priority in my life. I know that you've called me to something far greater than myself, and I'm scared that I won't live up to the expectations you or other people have for me. God I cast out that spirit of fear in Jesus name, and ask that you would replace it with a spirit of confidence and diligence to seek you and your will out. God that you would make clear the path you've laid out for my life. Father I pray for anyone reading this who is dealing with the same bout of fear or insecurity. God I cast out those feelings and pray forward confidence and a boldness to step up. Father thank you for a love that knows no boundaries or conditions...thank you for having a plan, and going before me, after me, and all around me. I love you.
Amen.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day Two & Three: 2 Peter 1:3-11
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world's corruption caused by human desires.
In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God's promises.
Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.
The more you grow like this the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.
So dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. Then God will give you a grand entrance in to the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
_________________________________________
With this challenge, my ultimate goal is to grow. I want to deepen my relationship with my Jesus. God has given me everything I need to walk with him, to strive for holy life. There is no way to live this out perfectly because I am sinful, but I have the power to overcome. Walking with me daily the Holy Spirit supplies me with consistent power to make right decisions, cast out the enemy, and remind me of God's present and future promises.
"And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises"
God is. God was. God will always be. He doesn't have a birthday, he doesn't have limitations, he isn't human. God is everything that is good, holy, powerful, etc. This God, the creator that intricately knit you together has promises for you, great and precious promises. If you submit, and choose him. These promises include wiping your slate clean. Clear of every indiscretion, stronghold, sin pattern, and filth that fills our lives. Gone. (Now this comes with work and continuos seeking, it isn't easy but remember, we have power in the Holy Spirit.) He sent his son to die for you. God promises life. And not just life on Earth, but eternal life with him forever. 1 Peter 1:23 says "For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God."
Accepting Jesus' sacrifice and knowing these great and precious promises, there should be a spark in us to live as God asks us too. It's the least we can do in return for the grace he shows us by his own accord. Faith isn't enough. Faith is extremely important, but it can't be all we have/do. Faith must be more than belief in certain facts, it must result in action. There must be growth in our character and moral discipline.
As listed above, faith's actions include seeking to know God better, developing discipline and perseverance, following God's will, and loving the people around you. Not all of these things come automatically, and you can't have one without the other. They all work together, and should grow together as we continue in our walks with Jesus. Something some commentary in my bible said, that I really liked was this, "God empowers and enables us, but he also gives us the responsibility to learn and to grow." You can't expect all these things to just happen. You have to seek God, seek truth, strive to put your faith into action, and work hard to deepen your love.
If you fail to grow or seek, it's like forgetting the cleansing you received because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. Almost like saying it didn't happen. When I think of all the times that I was complacent, going through the "Christian motions", and living a less than mediocre Christian life, it hurts to think that I basically told Jesus what he did for me didn't matter to me enough to strive for a Holy existence. Ouch.
The passage ends with a charge to those who claim Christ. "Work hard to prove that you are among God's called and chosen...." With a creator who sent his son to atone for our filth, the least we can do is aim to live by his word.
I'll end with another passage and a quote from the commentary in the NLT Life application study bible:
James 2:14-17---14 Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it?15 For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved16 and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup-where does that get you?17 Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
"Our faith must go beyond what we believe; it must become a dynamic part of all we do. Our salvation isn't dependent on good deeds, but it results in good deeds."
In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God's promises.
Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.
The more you grow like this the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.
So dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. Then God will give you a grand entrance in to the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
_________________________________________
With this challenge, my ultimate goal is to grow. I want to deepen my relationship with my Jesus. God has given me everything I need to walk with him, to strive for holy life. There is no way to live this out perfectly because I am sinful, but I have the power to overcome. Walking with me daily the Holy Spirit supplies me with consistent power to make right decisions, cast out the enemy, and remind me of God's present and future promises.
"And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises"
God is. God was. God will always be. He doesn't have a birthday, he doesn't have limitations, he isn't human. God is everything that is good, holy, powerful, etc. This God, the creator that intricately knit you together has promises for you, great and precious promises. If you submit, and choose him. These promises include wiping your slate clean. Clear of every indiscretion, stronghold, sin pattern, and filth that fills our lives. Gone. (Now this comes with work and continuos seeking, it isn't easy but remember, we have power in the Holy Spirit.) He sent his son to die for you. God promises life. And not just life on Earth, but eternal life with him forever. 1 Peter 1:23 says "For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God."
Accepting Jesus' sacrifice and knowing these great and precious promises, there should be a spark in us to live as God asks us too. It's the least we can do in return for the grace he shows us by his own accord. Faith isn't enough. Faith is extremely important, but it can't be all we have/do. Faith must be more than belief in certain facts, it must result in action. There must be growth in our character and moral discipline.
As listed above, faith's actions include seeking to know God better, developing discipline and perseverance, following God's will, and loving the people around you. Not all of these things come automatically, and you can't have one without the other. They all work together, and should grow together as we continue in our walks with Jesus. Something some commentary in my bible said, that I really liked was this, "God empowers and enables us, but he also gives us the responsibility to learn and to grow." You can't expect all these things to just happen. You have to seek God, seek truth, strive to put your faith into action, and work hard to deepen your love.
If you fail to grow or seek, it's like forgetting the cleansing you received because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. Almost like saying it didn't happen. When I think of all the times that I was complacent, going through the "Christian motions", and living a less than mediocre Christian life, it hurts to think that I basically told Jesus what he did for me didn't matter to me enough to strive for a Holy existence. Ouch.
The passage ends with a charge to those who claim Christ. "Work hard to prove that you are among God's called and chosen...." With a creator who sent his son to atone for our filth, the least we can do is aim to live by his word.
I'll end with another passage and a quote from the commentary in the NLT Life application study bible:
James 2:14-17---14 Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it?15 For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved16 and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup-where does that get you?17 Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?
"Our faith must go beyond what we believe; it must become a dynamic part of all we do. Our salvation isn't dependent on good deeds, but it results in good deeds."
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Day One: Joshua 5:13-15
Joshua 5:13-15
When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, "Are you friend or foe?"
"Neither one," he replied, "I am the commander of the Lord's army."
At this Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence.
"I am at your command," Joshua said, "What do you want our servant to do?"
The commander of the Lord's army replied, "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy."
And Joshua did as he was told.
____________________________________
Ok so this is something that was talked about in church this morning by Pastor Mike at the Gathering. What's amazing is that he also talked about Joshua 1:8...the verse that sparked this whole challenge. God is good, he consistently confirms what he asks of us if we're aware enough to see it.
Anyways, so maybe this is cheating because this is something that Pastor Mike pointed out, but it really resinated with me and when I got home tonight I read it a few more times and this is what God showed me.
When Joshua went to the city, he saw a man with a sword. Of course is first thought was "Hey! Are you for me or against me?!" The man replied, "Neither! I'm the commander of the Lord's army!" -- And it hit me...We are always told that 'God is on our side...' and he is, because he loves us. BUT really, he's truly on our side when we CHOOSE him and join his side. Yes it sounds like I'm talking in circles, but really, think about it. You're a soldier, you're either in the Lord's army or the world's army. We shouldn't be asking God to get behind us as we battle, in all reality we should get behind God and ask him to LEAD us. When we come under God's authority and follow him, we're walking in his will and his plan...and therefore we'll be victorious! Doesn't mean it will be easy, but it will be right.
"At this Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence."
As soon as Joshua recognized the man as the leader of God's army he fell to his face in reverence. (Now this could have been a guest appearance by Jesus, but I'm not too sure, and there really isn't a way to know for sure...so keeping that in mind, we'll move on) DUH this was the leader of the guy that created everything's army! Do we show that much reverence to God? I don't. And for me to sit and say that I want to do things God's way, I want him to lead, but then I continue to try and control situations and live by my own ideas, I'm basically looking at God and saying "You can step aside, I'm going to lead now." How is that reverence? How is that walking in his will? It isn't.
Joshua asked as God's servant, what should he do. He was willing and ready to do whatever God asked of him. Not trying to lead but asking to follow. The commander asked Joshua to remove his sandals for the ground he was on was holy. Just as Joshua recognized the commander's authority and power, and removed his sandals, we should recognize God's power, authority, and deep love. Our actions should model absolute reverence for God. It's a form of showing respect, and though taking off our sandals may not be culturally the way we show it now days, recognizing the respect he deserves is just as important today as it was in Joshua's time.
When we recognize God's power, we're reminded of his ability to do all things. All we have to do is submit to him and he will trudge ahead of us in battle.
One last thing that Pastor said this morning, made a lot of sense. When we decide to walk with Jesus all of our problems don't just go away, and our battles don't just disappear. What happens is we gain a commander to go ahead of us and walk us through our battles, leading every step of the way. All we have to do is humble ourselves enough to submit.
When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, "Are you friend or foe?"
"Neither one," he replied, "I am the commander of the Lord's army."
At this Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence.
"I am at your command," Joshua said, "What do you want our servant to do?"
The commander of the Lord's army replied, "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy."
And Joshua did as he was told.
____________________________________
Ok so this is something that was talked about in church this morning by Pastor Mike at the Gathering. What's amazing is that he also talked about Joshua 1:8...the verse that sparked this whole challenge. God is good, he consistently confirms what he asks of us if we're aware enough to see it.
Anyways, so maybe this is cheating because this is something that Pastor Mike pointed out, but it really resinated with me and when I got home tonight I read it a few more times and this is what God showed me.
When Joshua went to the city, he saw a man with a sword. Of course is first thought was "Hey! Are you for me or against me?!" The man replied, "Neither! I'm the commander of the Lord's army!" -- And it hit me...We are always told that 'God is on our side...' and he is, because he loves us. BUT really, he's truly on our side when we CHOOSE him and join his side. Yes it sounds like I'm talking in circles, but really, think about it. You're a soldier, you're either in the Lord's army or the world's army. We shouldn't be asking God to get behind us as we battle, in all reality we should get behind God and ask him to LEAD us. When we come under God's authority and follow him, we're walking in his will and his plan...and therefore we'll be victorious! Doesn't mean it will be easy, but it will be right.
"At this Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence."
As soon as Joshua recognized the man as the leader of God's army he fell to his face in reverence. (Now this could have been a guest appearance by Jesus, but I'm not too sure, and there really isn't a way to know for sure...so keeping that in mind, we'll move on) DUH this was the leader of the guy that created everything's army! Do we show that much reverence to God? I don't. And for me to sit and say that I want to do things God's way, I want him to lead, but then I continue to try and control situations and live by my own ideas, I'm basically looking at God and saying "You can step aside, I'm going to lead now." How is that reverence? How is that walking in his will? It isn't.
Joshua asked as God's servant, what should he do. He was willing and ready to do whatever God asked of him. Not trying to lead but asking to follow. The commander asked Joshua to remove his sandals for the ground he was on was holy. Just as Joshua recognized the commander's authority and power, and removed his sandals, we should recognize God's power, authority, and deep love. Our actions should model absolute reverence for God. It's a form of showing respect, and though taking off our sandals may not be culturally the way we show it now days, recognizing the respect he deserves is just as important today as it was in Joshua's time.
When we recognize God's power, we're reminded of his ability to do all things. All we have to do is submit to him and he will trudge ahead of us in battle.
One last thing that Pastor said this morning, made a lot of sense. When we decide to walk with Jesus all of our problems don't just go away, and our battles don't just disappear. What happens is we gain a commander to go ahead of us and walk us through our battles, leading every step of the way. All we have to do is humble ourselves enough to submit.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
A challenge.
Satan sucks. Plain and simple.
My earlier post "Content", I wrote a few days ago but didn't post it. I guess I thought I wanted to add more to it, but after rereading it I realized I didn't have much more to say.
Since writing about being content...Satan has blasted me with feelings of discontentment, foolishness, and just flat out yuck. It amazes me how closesly the enemy watches our lives, every little thing to find a weakness to attack. A hole to sneak in and destroy.
As Christians, we HAVE to be concious of the enemy and all his ploys. We need to meditate on God's word and use it as a sword of protection. The words in that book aren't mearly letters on paper, but the words of our Creator and our Saviour. When we meditate on the word and fill our mind with God's thoughts, and God's words, we literally CUT out the enemy and his negativity.
The enemy has been working on me. Filling my head with ideas of being unworthy, ugly, and defeated. I REFUSE to let Satan continue to get the best of me when my Jesus tells me I AM worthy, I AM beautiful, and that I have overcome!
Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." I've not done a good job lately of guarding my heart. I've let time become an excuse for not having time with Jesus. I've let Sunday service replace one on one time with my Saviour. And I've let the opinions of my peers become more important than the opinion of my Master.
2 Corinthians 10:5 says "We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ" (The Message) The NIV version says it this way "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
------The Key in that verse is about taking captive every thought, impulse, and emotion that isn't Christ like and change it to fit a life shaped by Christ. A dear friend once said to me "If you were in bed and a snake crawled up in bed with you, would you let if lie with you? No! You would take captive of it and get rid of it!" That's exactly what we are to do when the enemy presents ideas or emotions that do not match up to God's truth. Take HOLD of it and CAST IT OUT.
Joshua 1:8 says "Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do." Success isn't a husband. Success isn't children. Success isn't a career. Success is living out God's will for my life and striving to be the person he asks me to be.
2 Peter 1:10-11 says "So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things and you will never fall away. Then God will give you a grand entrance into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." -- I've not done a good job of proving that I am among God's called and chosen. But I'm changing that.
This is where the title of this post "A Challenge" comes into play.
I am going to make a point of being in God's word daily. It's something that is critical to a Christian's well-being, and something I have been truly lacking in. To hold myself accountable to this I will blog every day about something God has shown me.
Isaiah 55:11 says "So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." -- I've been reminded that I will get out of God what I put into him...his word will not return void.
Please pray for me, Satan doesn't like when we seek truth, he'd rather us be complacent. But that's not what God has called me to be...pray that I would seek even when it seems difficult. And I'll pray the same for you.
I'll end with this...
Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget about what's happened, don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present! I'm about to do something brand new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it?"
He's going to do something new, and I'm WAY excited to see it.
My earlier post "Content", I wrote a few days ago but didn't post it. I guess I thought I wanted to add more to it, but after rereading it I realized I didn't have much more to say.
Since writing about being content...Satan has blasted me with feelings of discontentment, foolishness, and just flat out yuck. It amazes me how closesly the enemy watches our lives, every little thing to find a weakness to attack. A hole to sneak in and destroy.
As Christians, we HAVE to be concious of the enemy and all his ploys. We need to meditate on God's word and use it as a sword of protection. The words in that book aren't mearly letters on paper, but the words of our Creator and our Saviour. When we meditate on the word and fill our mind with God's thoughts, and God's words, we literally CUT out the enemy and his negativity.
The enemy has been working on me. Filling my head with ideas of being unworthy, ugly, and defeated. I REFUSE to let Satan continue to get the best of me when my Jesus tells me I AM worthy, I AM beautiful, and that I have overcome!
Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." I've not done a good job lately of guarding my heart. I've let time become an excuse for not having time with Jesus. I've let Sunday service replace one on one time with my Saviour. And I've let the opinions of my peers become more important than the opinion of my Master.
2 Corinthians 10:5 says "We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ" (The Message) The NIV version says it this way "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
------The Key in that verse is about taking captive every thought, impulse, and emotion that isn't Christ like and change it to fit a life shaped by Christ. A dear friend once said to me "If you were in bed and a snake crawled up in bed with you, would you let if lie with you? No! You would take captive of it and get rid of it!" That's exactly what we are to do when the enemy presents ideas or emotions that do not match up to God's truth. Take HOLD of it and CAST IT OUT.
Joshua 1:8 says "Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do." Success isn't a husband. Success isn't children. Success isn't a career. Success is living out God's will for my life and striving to be the person he asks me to be.
2 Peter 1:10-11 says "So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things and you will never fall away. Then God will give you a grand entrance into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." -- I've not done a good job of proving that I am among God's called and chosen. But I'm changing that.
This is where the title of this post "A Challenge" comes into play.
I am going to make a point of being in God's word daily. It's something that is critical to a Christian's well-being, and something I have been truly lacking in. To hold myself accountable to this I will blog every day about something God has shown me.
Isaiah 55:11 says "So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." -- I've been reminded that I will get out of God what I put into him...his word will not return void.
Please pray for me, Satan doesn't like when we seek truth, he'd rather us be complacent. But that's not what God has called me to be...pray that I would seek even when it seems difficult. And I'll pray the same for you.
I'll end with this...
Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget about what's happened, don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present! I'm about to do something brand new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it?"
He's going to do something new, and I'm WAY excited to see it.
Content.
I finally feel like I'm at a place where I'm content.
I'm ok, right here. Right where God has me, as he has me.
NEVER have I been able to say that and actually mean it.
There is a key in the line above..."AS he has me.." Many times I feel like we feel okay about where God has placed us, but we feel as if we should have more, whether it be certain relationships, certain careers, etc. So many times I find myself seeking seeking seeking something more more more...when really what I need to do is simply Stop. Look around. And be thankful for where God has me and how he has me there.
I encourage you to BE content. Not to just say you are, but actually BE it. Don't worry about tomorrow because tomorrow has worries of its own. Don't plan your entire life when God had it written before he created Earth....let him Lead. Let him be God.
When you let God be God....he surprises you.
I'm ok, right here. Right where God has me, as he has me.
NEVER have I been able to say that and actually mean it.
There is a key in the line above..."AS he has me.." Many times I feel like we feel okay about where God has placed us, but we feel as if we should have more, whether it be certain relationships, certain careers, etc. So many times I find myself seeking seeking seeking something more more more...when really what I need to do is simply Stop. Look around. And be thankful for where God has me and how he has me there.
I encourage you to BE content. Not to just say you are, but actually BE it. Don't worry about tomorrow because tomorrow has worries of its own. Don't plan your entire life when God had it written before he created Earth....let him Lead. Let him be God.
When you let God be God....he surprises you.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Waiting...
Lately I feel like that's all I do...wait.
I'm 20. I've been out of High School for 2 years...I'm working towards a Bachelors degree, and I'm preparing for a future that I used to think I had planned...but daily I am reminded that surely that isn't the case. I'm waiting on a future I have NO idea about what it entails, who it entails, and a timeframe that it will follow...Only my creator knows that.
If we knew all the plans, we wouldn't need to trust, or have faith, or even seek our Creator. There wouldn't be any point, we would have all the answers. I constantly feel like I want answers...but I know that I don't need all the answers right this second.
Lamentations 3:24-26
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”
25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.
The Lord is my inheritance.
The Lord is my inheritance.
THE LORD IS MY INHERITANCE!
Maybe if I repeat it enough I'll begin to not only know this but to actually believe this.
Isaiah 40:31
31 But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
I've blogged about this verse before...God is my constant renewing strength.
Psalm 16:11
11 You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Waiting on me means directing your attenton to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do. It entails trusting Me with every fiber of your being, instead of trying to figure things out yourself. Waiting on Me is the way I designed you to live: all day, every day, I created you to stay conscious of Me as you go about your daily dutes. I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, liveing above one's circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual Presence. Waiting on Me enables you to glorify Me by living in deep dependence on Me, ready to do My will. It also helps you to enjoy Me: in My presence is fullness of Joy.
-Jesus
I think that says it all. Waiting on a future that you're unsure of is basically dependence on the one who is sure. And there are two ways you can wait. You can wait, trying to control every detail and hope for the outcome you want, or you can wait and trust every detail with the one who wrote your story before time. HE has a plan, an awesome plan full of abundance and blessings. A plan that exceeds any want or need. A plan that is specifically designed to suit every single one of us. My God doesn't make robots or copies, he creates individuals each with their own story.
To anyone who reads this, I pray that you would realize how important you are to your creator and how loved you are by the one who sacrificed it all for you.
I ask that you would pray for me, as I try to again relinquish control and trust my Jesus. He has THE plan, so why don't we make an effort to trust it, and quit wasting time worrying about our own.
I'm 20. I've been out of High School for 2 years...I'm working towards a Bachelors degree, and I'm preparing for a future that I used to think I had planned...but daily I am reminded that surely that isn't the case. I'm waiting on a future I have NO idea about what it entails, who it entails, and a timeframe that it will follow...Only my creator knows that.
If we knew all the plans, we wouldn't need to trust, or have faith, or even seek our Creator. There wouldn't be any point, we would have all the answers. I constantly feel like I want answers...but I know that I don't need all the answers right this second.
Lamentations 3:24-26
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”
25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.
The Lord is my inheritance.
The Lord is my inheritance.
THE LORD IS MY INHERITANCE!
Maybe if I repeat it enough I'll begin to not only know this but to actually believe this.
Isaiah 40:31
31 But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
I've blogged about this verse before...God is my constant renewing strength.
Psalm 16:11
11 You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Waiting on me means directing your attenton to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do. It entails trusting Me with every fiber of your being, instead of trying to figure things out yourself. Waiting on Me is the way I designed you to live: all day, every day, I created you to stay conscious of Me as you go about your daily dutes. I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, liveing above one's circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual Presence. Waiting on Me enables you to glorify Me by living in deep dependence on Me, ready to do My will. It also helps you to enjoy Me: in My presence is fullness of Joy.
-Jesus
I think that says it all. Waiting on a future that you're unsure of is basically dependence on the one who is sure. And there are two ways you can wait. You can wait, trying to control every detail and hope for the outcome you want, or you can wait and trust every detail with the one who wrote your story before time. HE has a plan, an awesome plan full of abundance and blessings. A plan that exceeds any want or need. A plan that is specifically designed to suit every single one of us. My God doesn't make robots or copies, he creates individuals each with their own story.
To anyone who reads this, I pray that you would realize how important you are to your creator and how loved you are by the one who sacrificed it all for you.
I ask that you would pray for me, as I try to again relinquish control and trust my Jesus. He has THE plan, so why don't we make an effort to trust it, and quit wasting time worrying about our own.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Rough Day.
Today hasn't been the easiest of days...I've felt very heavy and bogged down. My head hurts, everything everyone says annoys me, I feel like I've accomplished nothing, and everyone is talking about the Royal Wedding that I didn't watch....which just adds to my annoyance.
Here and there I have a day like today....A day where everything is bad, a day where I feel like I am being reminded constantly that things aren't the way I had planned originally, a day that just hurts all over like a headache in my heart. Ugh.
Reading older posts, I recognize that I have an issue with relinquishing control -- Who doesn't?
Trying to control leaves me exhausted.
Isaiah 40:29-31 States "He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
When I read these verses the part about "even young men will fall in exhaustion" really got me. I'm young, I guess I consider myself a being that is ever-refreshing, not dependant on rest and renewing. But by nature I am weak and in need of constant renewing, not just physically but spiritually and emotionally as well.
Jesus is my source of renewing.
Even with a lot of sleep, I am not able to renew myself....true renewal is found only when it comes through Christ, Jesus.
We are inadequate to supply all of our needs.
I forget how blessed I am to have a Father who willingly takes care of every need.
In all reality our inadequacy is a blessing, training us to rely wholeheartedly on him.
Jesus,
I'm inadequate. I need YOU completely. I'm sorry I hold onto too much and don't seek you enough. Father, continue to allow me to be tired when I don't seek your face for renewal. I can't do this on my own, I can't do life on my own. Remind me of that fact daily. You, my Jesus are all sufficient...and are the answer to every need. Don't let me forget that. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for loving me enough to carry the weight of the word on your shoulders so I don't have to break mine.
I love you.
Amen.
Here and there I have a day like today....A day where everything is bad, a day where I feel like I am being reminded constantly that things aren't the way I had planned originally, a day that just hurts all over like a headache in my heart. Ugh.
Reading older posts, I recognize that I have an issue with relinquishing control -- Who doesn't?
Trying to control leaves me exhausted.
Isaiah 40:29-31 States "He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
When I read these verses the part about "even young men will fall in exhaustion" really got me. I'm young, I guess I consider myself a being that is ever-refreshing, not dependant on rest and renewing. But by nature I am weak and in need of constant renewing, not just physically but spiritually and emotionally as well.
Jesus is my source of renewing.
Even with a lot of sleep, I am not able to renew myself....true renewal is found only when it comes through Christ, Jesus.
We are inadequate to supply all of our needs.
I forget how blessed I am to have a Father who willingly takes care of every need.
In all reality our inadequacy is a blessing, training us to rely wholeheartedly on him.
Jesus,
I'm inadequate. I need YOU completely. I'm sorry I hold onto too much and don't seek you enough. Father, continue to allow me to be tired when I don't seek your face for renewal. I can't do this on my own, I can't do life on my own. Remind me of that fact daily. You, my Jesus are all sufficient...and are the answer to every need. Don't let me forget that. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for loving me enough to carry the weight of the word on your shoulders so I don't have to break mine.
I love you.
Amen.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Incredible.
God is awesome.
Plain and simple.
I think a lot of the time, we forget about how much our Creator truly love us. Bottom line, we're sinful beings yet HE made a way that we could join him in Heaven. It's simple but we make it complicated. All he asked us for was submission, and why wouldn't we submit? He sees not just the 'bigger' picture, but the entire picture in general....he came to give us not just life, but an abundant life.
So submit, He loves you.
Unclench your fists and open your hands, give your life up to your Creator, and I promise you'll be fufilled!
Plain and simple.
I think a lot of the time, we forget about how much our Creator truly love us. Bottom line, we're sinful beings yet HE made a way that we could join him in Heaven. It's simple but we make it complicated. All he asked us for was submission, and why wouldn't we submit? He sees not just the 'bigger' picture, but the entire picture in general....he came to give us not just life, but an abundant life.
So submit, He loves you.
Unclench your fists and open your hands, give your life up to your Creator, and I promise you'll be fufilled!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Ahh!
A few nights ago I blogged about finding out that my research paper wasn't submitted completely for one of my classes and that I was unsuccessful "re"finding it to resubmit it.
WELL this morning as I was working on one of the rough drafts I could find, I had been praying, and I decided to search my computer one more time. I went to the same places I had looked before, but clicked on another link....and BOOM! There it was! Totally and completely...complete! :D
ALL praise to Jesus, I know that paper wasn't there before, and he did a number and helped me out immensely.
He's SOOOOO fantastic!!
So again, THANK YOU JESUS for taking care of your daughter, I am so undeserving but you do it anyway!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
WELL this morning as I was working on one of the rough drafts I could find, I had been praying, and I decided to search my computer one more time. I went to the same places I had looked before, but clicked on another link....and BOOM! There it was! Totally and completely...complete! :D
ALL praise to Jesus, I know that paper wasn't there before, and he did a number and helped me out immensely.
He's SOOOOO fantastic!!
So again, THANK YOU JESUS for taking care of your daughter, I am so undeserving but you do it anyway!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
From panic, to peace.
Panic = Turning in the Critical Assignment for one of your classes, 1800 word research paper that you've spent large amounts of time on, only to find out that said paper didn't submit but the first page........and the completed paper is no where to be found on the computer it was saved on.......
Peace = My God is bigger than a "Critical" Assignment.....and no matter how this turns out, he loves me. And I'll be in heaven with him one day because he loves me....SO instead of bursting into tears, throwing up, and having a complete anxiety attack...I claim peace in Jesus name. Amen.
Peace = My God is bigger than a "Critical" Assignment.....and no matter how this turns out, he loves me. And I'll be in heaven with him one day because he loves me....SO instead of bursting into tears, throwing up, and having a complete anxiety attack...I claim peace in Jesus name. Amen.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Gungor
This band has put to words many of the things I have been feeling lately...blessing me so big right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY
Beautiful Things
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make me new, You are making me new
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make me new, You are making me new
Dry Bones
my soul cries out
my soul cries out for you
these bones cry out
these dry bones cry for you
to live and move
only You
can raise the dead
lift my head up
Jesus, You’re the one who saves us
Constantly creates us into something new
Jesus You’re the one who finds us
Surely our Messiah will make all things new
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpATmuPr84Q\
my soul cries out
my soul cries out for you
these bones cry out
these dry bones cry for you
to live and move
only You
can raise the dead
lift my head up
Jesus, You’re the one who saves us
Constantly creates us into something new
Jesus You’re the one who finds us
Surely our Messiah will make all things new
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpATmuPr84Q\
You Have Me
out on the farthest edge
there in the silence
you were there
My faith was torn to shreds
heart in the balance
but you were there
always faithful
always good
you have still have my
you still have my heart
I thought I had seen the end
everything broken
but you were there
I've wandered heaven's gates
I've made my bed in hell
You were there still
You have me
You have my heart completely
out on the farthest edge
there in the silence
you were there
My faith was torn to shreds
heart in the balance
but you were there
always faithful
always good
you have still have my
you still have my heart
I thought I had seen the end
everything broken
but you were there
I've wandered heaven's gates
I've made my bed in hell
You were there still
You have me
You have my heart completely
Rest in My Radient Presence....
The world around you seems to spin faster and faster, until everything is a blur. Yet there is a cushion of calm at the center of your life, where you live in union with Me. Return to this soothing Center as often as you can, for this is where you are energized; filled with My love, Joy, and Peace.
The world is a needy place; do not go there for sustenance. Instead, come to Me. Learn to depend on Me alone, and your weekness will become saturated with My Power. When you find your completeness in Me, you can help other people without using them to meet your own needs. Live in the Light of My presence, and you light will shine brightly into the lives of others.
1 John 4:12 -- No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
This devotional came from "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young -- I will share from this devotional a lot :)
I really felt like this matched the release I felt on Sunday. When we depend on our Father in our weakness we "become saturated in his power". How awesome is that? Though I am weak, he makes me strong. To think that we can find strength and power anywhere else but in him, is wrong. That's hard for someone like me, someone who feels that she is naturally strong, and can handle anything thrown at her, on her own. Slowly I am becoming broken of that mindset.....I find more and more that when I think I am in control of a situation I really am quite the opposite, needing more guidence than ever.
I pray that God would continue to break me so that I will continually seek his power, and not try and find strength in my own.
Please Be my Strength -- Gungor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEOTwlLKpqo
The world is a needy place; do not go there for sustenance. Instead, come to Me. Learn to depend on Me alone, and your weekness will become saturated with My Power. When you find your completeness in Me, you can help other people without using them to meet your own needs. Live in the Light of My presence, and you light will shine brightly into the lives of others.
1 John 4:12 -- No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
This devotional came from "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young -- I will share from this devotional a lot :)
I really felt like this matched the release I felt on Sunday. When we depend on our Father in our weakness we "become saturated in his power". How awesome is that? Though I am weak, he makes me strong. To think that we can find strength and power anywhere else but in him, is wrong. That's hard for someone like me, someone who feels that she is naturally strong, and can handle anything thrown at her, on her own. Slowly I am becoming broken of that mindset.....I find more and more that when I think I am in control of a situation I really am quite the opposite, needing more guidence than ever.
I pray that God would continue to break me so that I will continually seek his power, and not try and find strength in my own.
Please Be my Strength -- Gungor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEOTwlLKpqo
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Phew!
Stress has been consuming my life as of late. And quite frankly, I'm tired of it.
I'm done.
I'm done worrying.
I'm done trying to control.
I'm done being "strong".
I'm done.
I've spent far too much time being busy. School, work, volleyball, personal things, etc, TOO MUCH. It's all too much. And tonight, I finally felt it, all of it. The weight of the world was resting on my shoulders, and I was trying with all my might to hold it up, and I couldn't. Tonight I fell and came crashing to the realization that I am not my own. I am not strong enough. I am not capable enough, to handle it all on my own. This Jesus, that I've kept putting on the back burner, wants ALL of it. He created and conquered the world, so why am I trying to hold it myself? It's not like its even in my hands, really its more like I'm doing my darnedest to pull it away from God. HA! That's funny, me? Pull something from God? Pshhh, not. Really i was just wasting time trying to control, when what I needed to do was put it down, leave it in God's hand and pursue him without all the 'busy'.
So that's what I'm doing. Never in my life have I understood this concept the way I do right now.
I can't do it...but HE can.
I can't handle it....but HE can.
So God, it's yours. All of it. School, work, volleyball, family things....all of it. I'm DONE. Starting today all I want is to seek you, completely. Without all the 'busy'. I want YOU, Jesus, to consume my thoughts, not the stress of everything else.
I'm sorry I've tried so hard to do it by myself.
Thank you Father for loving me enough to take all of my burdens, fears, and failures.
You are eternally awesome, and I love you.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land in the living.
--Psalm 27:13
I will not lose heart.
My God has HUGE plans for me, I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living....Life is tough, but my Jesus is tougher.
I'm done.
I'm done worrying.
I'm done trying to control.
I'm done being "strong".
I'm done.
I've spent far too much time being busy. School, work, volleyball, personal things, etc, TOO MUCH. It's all too much. And tonight, I finally felt it, all of it. The weight of the world was resting on my shoulders, and I was trying with all my might to hold it up, and I couldn't. Tonight I fell and came crashing to the realization that I am not my own. I am not strong enough. I am not capable enough, to handle it all on my own. This Jesus, that I've kept putting on the back burner, wants ALL of it. He created and conquered the world, so why am I trying to hold it myself? It's not like its even in my hands, really its more like I'm doing my darnedest to pull it away from God. HA! That's funny, me? Pull something from God? Pshhh, not. Really i was just wasting time trying to control, when what I needed to do was put it down, leave it in God's hand and pursue him without all the 'busy'.
So that's what I'm doing. Never in my life have I understood this concept the way I do right now.
I can't do it...but HE can.
I can't handle it....but HE can.
So God, it's yours. All of it. School, work, volleyball, family things....all of it. I'm DONE. Starting today all I want is to seek you, completely. Without all the 'busy'. I want YOU, Jesus, to consume my thoughts, not the stress of everything else.
I'm sorry I've tried so hard to do it by myself.
Thank you Father for loving me enough to take all of my burdens, fears, and failures.
You are eternally awesome, and I love you.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land in the living.
--Psalm 27:13
I will not lose heart.
My God has HUGE plans for me, I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living....Life is tough, but my Jesus is tougher.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Paint.
Things change, if they didn't, it wouldn't be life.
I've always had a plan, and since graduating High School none of my plans have come to be. I've come to the realization that though plans can give a sense of purpose, if they're not intertwined with God's will, they're pointless. My purpose, is to be in God's will. I hate how easy it is to say that but how hard I make it to follow through.
I went through High School knowing that on June 9th, or 10th, (or whatever day it was), 2009 I would be graduating and preparing for a life at the University of Florida. The day came, I received my diploma, spent my summer spending time with friends, and Come August 20th, 2009, I made my way to Gville. School was hard, more than I had imagined and pursuing a degree in Accounting was unbearable. I was doing too much on my own....aka: everything, and I fell flat on my face. And like Mack Truck, it hit me...DUH get on your knees! God is way bigger than school! So I did, and after much prayer, tears, and good support from loved ones, I made the first step in intertwining my plans with God's will and changed my major from Accounting to Elementary Education.
Washed over with an abundance of Peace, I began the Spring semester with a smile on my face and firm grip on my Savior's hand. "We can do this, Jesus, we can do this..." Spring Semester was smooth....I was seeking my Jesus, and things got easier. School wasn't as stressful, I wasn't as homesick, in fact I only went home 3 times the entire semester, I pulled up my GPA, got involved in a Small Group at a local church.....things were looking up. The semester ended and I came home.....my world was turned upside down.
When your security is shaken you can do one of two things.....grab hold of the awesome God who loves you most, or allow Satan to fuel your despair. I chose Jesus and forgave what needed to be forgiven and learned the fullness of Jesus' love....no sin is worse than another, it's all a mark against the only Perfect one, and if he forgave me, I must forgive as well. For those of you who know of what I am speaking, you can understand why I will not go into detail on an internet blog, it's not meant for other people, but it was key in a lot of growing up that I had to do.
Hard decisions had to be made.....the more I prayed the more God showed me that Gville was not where I was meant to be. I came to realize that I wanted UF so bad, I never considered what God's plans were.....so he allowed me to go and figure it out myself. I'll never wonder "What if" because I was there....and then was shown it wasn't what I was meant for. I chose to be obedient. Hardest decision I've ever made, and to this day I still miss Gville, UF, and the people there. BUT no matter how much missing I do, I know without any doubt that I made the right decision because I am walking in God's will.
I've said all that to say that now I'm home and discovering that beauty really does come out of ashes. With a Savior who fills all voids, life goes on. Friends are lost and gained, decisions are hard but made, people are disappointing yet beautiful, and change is not a bad thing. I'm ready to live in the now, not allowing past hurt to postpone good things from happening.
God is SO big and has given me an endless supply of paint.
I'm going to throw it all over the canvas.
This blog is about the paint.
I've always had a plan, and since graduating High School none of my plans have come to be. I've come to the realization that though plans can give a sense of purpose, if they're not intertwined with God's will, they're pointless. My purpose, is to be in God's will. I hate how easy it is to say that but how hard I make it to follow through.
I went through High School knowing that on June 9th, or 10th, (or whatever day it was), 2009 I would be graduating and preparing for a life at the University of Florida. The day came, I received my diploma, spent my summer spending time with friends, and Come August 20th, 2009, I made my way to Gville. School was hard, more than I had imagined and pursuing a degree in Accounting was unbearable. I was doing too much on my own....aka: everything, and I fell flat on my face. And like Mack Truck, it hit me...DUH get on your knees! God is way bigger than school! So I did, and after much prayer, tears, and good support from loved ones, I made the first step in intertwining my plans with God's will and changed my major from Accounting to Elementary Education.
Washed over with an abundance of Peace, I began the Spring semester with a smile on my face and firm grip on my Savior's hand. "We can do this, Jesus, we can do this..." Spring Semester was smooth....I was seeking my Jesus, and things got easier. School wasn't as stressful, I wasn't as homesick, in fact I only went home 3 times the entire semester, I pulled up my GPA, got involved in a Small Group at a local church.....things were looking up. The semester ended and I came home.....my world was turned upside down.
When your security is shaken you can do one of two things.....grab hold of the awesome God who loves you most, or allow Satan to fuel your despair. I chose Jesus and forgave what needed to be forgiven and learned the fullness of Jesus' love....no sin is worse than another, it's all a mark against the only Perfect one, and if he forgave me, I must forgive as well. For those of you who know of what I am speaking, you can understand why I will not go into detail on an internet blog, it's not meant for other people, but it was key in a lot of growing up that I had to do.
Hard decisions had to be made.....the more I prayed the more God showed me that Gville was not where I was meant to be. I came to realize that I wanted UF so bad, I never considered what God's plans were.....so he allowed me to go and figure it out myself. I'll never wonder "What if" because I was there....and then was shown it wasn't what I was meant for. I chose to be obedient. Hardest decision I've ever made, and to this day I still miss Gville, UF, and the people there. BUT no matter how much missing I do, I know without any doubt that I made the right decision because I am walking in God's will.
I've said all that to say that now I'm home and discovering that beauty really does come out of ashes. With a Savior who fills all voids, life goes on. Friends are lost and gained, decisions are hard but made, people are disappointing yet beautiful, and change is not a bad thing. I'm ready to live in the now, not allowing past hurt to postpone good things from happening.
God is SO big and has given me an endless supply of paint.
I'm going to throw it all over the canvas.
This blog is about the paint.
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