Heart Cries.

Why am I constantly striving to live on my own when it always ends up sucking?
Why do I allow myself to be ignorant to God's plan for my life?
Why don't I seek him fully?
Why don't I trust him in the big things?
Why don't I trust him in the small things?
Why do I let worry get the best of me?
Why don't I let God's love fulfill me all the time?
Why do I think that I need something more?
Why do I let Satan get the best of me?
Why do I let him take my joy?
Why do I do anything that isn't pleasing to my Savior?

Why am I so selfish?

God,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I feel like I'm always saying I'm sorry. More and more as life rolls on, I'm coming to find that anything I ever thought my life should be, may not be. And that's ok. I'm coming to realize that you are who you say you are. You have plans, big ones. Plans that you have set ahead of me to be fulfilled, in your time. Not my own. God, you're awesome. And I love you so much. But not enough. God rid me of me, and fill me with you. God that you would drain out of me what is human, and fill it with what is holy. God that daily you would remind me of who's I am. Jesus, I want my life to bring praise to your heart and honor to your name. Fix in me what is broken and restore it so that it can work to further your kingdom.

I love you. Help me mean that more.

Amen