Padrick in Progress: Let's Get Real.

MONEY.

Something everyone wants more of, is stressed over, and can hover over your life with TOO much control if you let it.

Money is TIGHT. And honestly I feel like that's an understatement.

I'm not writing this as a "woe is me" - I know that Jake and I are better off than 90% of the world, but the reality is, money is tight. There's a new baby coming, and there has been MUCH added expense the last few months in prepping for her arrival. Health insurance ain't CHEAP.

But this post isn't so much to focus on the dollar amount, but on the heart behind it all.

Last week, God really began to speak to my spirit about our tithe. It's something that Jake and I go up and down with,. and when I say Jake and I, I mean me. We're really consistent for a few months and then things get tight and I don't follow through. All of our money flows into the same account, but I handle what is paid and what goes out. It's something Jake and I established when we first got married as I had more of the brain for it and Jake just didn't care to have that control, it's something we do together. But in the end, I've been the one deciding whether to write that check or not.

I can tell you that the months that I don't, I feel convicted. I feel like I'm letting my husband down by not, I know that I'm putting more faith in my calculator than in the God who holds the world. But sometimes I just couldn't write that check. With a tithe being 10% of what you bring in... it can FEEL like a significant chunk of money. Like I said, this post isn't about the dollar amount, but our tithe is roughly two thirds the amount of our mortgage, and that mortgage is a significant chunk of what we pay out each month. I also had this warped idea that because of others disobedience, that money we'd be giving up, wouldn't make it's way back to us anyway, so I just needed to hold onto it because we NEEDED it. HAAAAA. The problem is that I can't justify my disobedience in the light of someone else's. I won't answer for theirs, but I'll surely answer for mine. Not writing that check, holding on to what isn't even mine in the first place, is being disobedient to what God calls me/us to. Something Steven Furtick said rang clear with me "Outcome is God's responsibility.. Obedience is yours." - WOAH.

Tithing is the one area where God asks us to test him.. it states in Malichi 3:10 "Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!"

It also states in Luke 6:38 "Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full -- pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back."

The thing is, that blessing/provision can't come unless you're obedient FIRST. The provision doesn't precede the obedience.

Pretty sure it was another Steven message I caught last week, but he said "To neglect your priorities is to forfeit your provision..." See, there's never a lack of provision in God, because He OWNS IT ALL What we think is a lack of provision is really a lack of priority..

What am I seeking first? Who am I putting first?

Matthew 6:33 states "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

"ALL these things will be given to you..." God doesn't want to keep anything from us, he WANTS to bless us and give us abundantly more. BUT He asks that we seek Him FIRST. Giving our FIRST fruits, is an act of faith. Writing that check, putting the 10% back into the hands who gave you every bit of the 100% says "God I trust you more than I trust what this money can do for me. I trust you to provide even when I can't see where it's going to come from. I trust YOU more than my calculator."

In a sense there's so much more peace when you give, even if your bank account may not reflect what you need - you've done what God asks and now you trust Him to provide. Essentially saying "It's in your hands God, I trust you." It lifts the burden off of our own shoulders and puts faith in THE God. And what does God want to do with us here? Grow our faith. Trust HIM more.

It's insane how God prepared me to write that check this week. I listened to these messages (See the three below) - Our own pastor has been teaching out of Malachi, and this week was about "Money Worship" (You can see that message here.) On Friday, Jake got a phone call from our Pastor, asking him if Jake would be willing to share a little testimony about tithing and what that has done to grow our faith. HA! I kid you not. All week the Holy Spirit is speaking to me about tithing, and here our Pastor sought Jake out to share about how giving has affected our faith and our family. ( I see you Holy Spirit..) If you watch the message, you'll see Jake's response. But basically Jake got to share that NO it isn't easy, but it's something God asks of us. It's a faith builder, it allows God the opportunity to show up and show His power, it allows our faith to be stretched and grown. It brings peace and security, because you're placing more faith in THE God's hands than in your own. And it's an act of obedience, it tends to put back into perspective the reality that EVERYTHING in our bank account is HIS anyway. He gave us the opportunity/talent/means to earn it. It has LESS control over me when I give it up to HIM.

It's not easy. It's a constant act of obedience to write that check.

But I can tell you, every single time, God has come through.

Every single time we've been covered.

I'm sick of saying I trust God, but living in such a way that doesn't always show it. I can tell you I wrote that check this week, and am trusting God to come through so our bank account doesn't end up in the negatives, real talk. Not easy, but worth it.

Robert Morris (another pastor I like to follow) states "Would you rather live cursed in the 100%? or Provided for in the 90%?" - Woah. Perspective.

Anyway - check out these messages below, they were good to me. The one by Joby Martin is the first of a 5 part series he did two years ago, you can find the others on youtube or via podcast.