Speak Life.

It's hard to take any type of criticism. It's hard to believe that anyone would disagree with you when you feel you've done your very best in that situation... The thing is, there will always be someone. Someone who feels you could have done better. Someone who feels you didn't do enough. And that's hard.

Growing up, I've always been a people pleaser. I wanted to do things the "right" way - so people would see that I was good, and that I would feel as if they appreciated me because I was good. As I've gotten older I've come to realize more that because everyone has an opinion, it's impossible to please them all. Someone is always going to disagree. Someone will always be there to criticize. Someone will get the wrong idea about you, based on an opinion they have or anger they've allowed to fester. It's disheartening, to know you've done all you could, but to someone else, it wasn't enough.

Bottom line, the most important being I answer to, is Jesus. - If I'm doing my best to seek his face, and to live out a life that brings glory to his name, showing his love unconditionally all the time, the opinions of other's don't matter. It's so cliche - we say it all the time. "Do what you want! People will think what they want!" There's a balance though, you don't want people to see you as someone who disregards every opinion, because God does speak through different people in our lives. I think it's important that we think about criticism when it comes, analyze where/who it came from, and decide whether it's something we need to address with ourselves or not.

It's important to think about where it came from, how was this person effected by me, positively? negatively? Is there an ulterior motive? Is what they said something to help better myself? Or were they tearing me down? - Just as God uses people to speak to us, Satan does too. He will use people to tear us down. - We've got to know the difference. We've got to be able to strike down any negative word from the enemy, as not to let it simmer and take root in our hearts. If that happens, we become the negative influence we don't want to be.. the same one that came down on us.

Something that has really stuck with me is our ability to speak life or death. It's amazing how a sentence that takes nothing but air and vocal chords to produce, can be more painful than a literal knife in the back. - I've made it my goal to speak life, be positive, and encourage with my words.

• 1 Peter 3:16 (NLT)

  But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.

That verse pretty much says to "keep your head up" - Show love, and be kind. People will notice. 

Delight in the Unexpected

I've talked in circles about learning to let God lead. I've spent my life making plans, only for them to be rearranged or obliterated by the Big Guy upstairs.

I'm finding more and more that when I remember that he is all satisfying, the plans are already written, and that I don't have to know it all - life is fun. Life is exciting! Life is exactly what God wants it to be for us, a purposeful, exciting experience. Not one that we dread or fear. Recognizing that frees us up from the anxiety of it all!

He's a great God. One who placed desires and dreams in us that he has great plans to fulfill. Sometimes we get upset, frustrated, and impatient in the waiting.. But that's where we grow. That's when we learn to trust and stand on his promise that he has great plans for those who love him.

Up to this point, life hasn't really gone the way I thought it would.. And that used to bother me. Now I'm incredibly thankful for it. My inability to see the whole picture clouds my judgement. By trusting the God who wrote my plan, I can rest assured that he wrote a pretty freaking good one.

For the first time ever I can honestly say without any fear or anxiety, but only with excitement, that I have NO IDEA where this life will take me. Who the heck knows?! (HE does) and he's the only one that needs to. I'm happy to be pleasantly surprised.

God is good. ALL the time.

He's pretty freaking cool.

So if you're currently frustrated with your situation... Remember that life is exactly what you make it. Even in the darkest of times we can find Joy in knowing Jesus. Remember that he is growing you for a greater purpose, that much of what you're going through now is going to help you speak into others lives. You will make a difference. Your story matters. - Remember to delight in the unexpected. God is a God of surprises.. Live day by day and let him do that! Don't think too far into the future, tomorrow has worries of its own.

Transition

Trust in the Lord  and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. 

Take delight in the Lord , and he will give you your heart’s desires. 

Commit everything you do to the Lord. 

Trust him, and he will help you. 

He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. 

Be still in the presence of the Lord , and wait patiently for him to act. 

Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:3-7

These Verses have been repeating in my head for a few weeks now.. "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires"... Delight. To delight is to give or to have great pleasure in or with something. I'll be honest, I haven't delighted in the Lord in a while. He's been more of the "wizard" I've been asking to give me or do certain things for me. It's easy to get caught up in the hustle of life in general, to make goals, seek them out, and then make more goals. The thing is, if those goals don't line up with where God wants you, they'll leave you feeling empty, unsatisfied, unfulfilled. 

I really do want God's best. I really do want to be everything he wants me to be. But I feel like there's this other list of things that I want to do, have, or accomplish. What he's been speaking to me lately is that many of the things on that list, he wrote himself. He created me, filled me with specific wants and desires. It only makes sense to seek him first, delight in him first, as many of those desires he has placed in the path before me. What gets me is the patience to wait for them.. I lack in that. My patience department isn't a strong one. 

"Commit everything you do to the Lord, Trust him and he will help you."

Easier said than done. When thinking about committing everything to the Lord, I realize how much I don't commit to him. My mind is constantly distracted by so many things, social media, school, working out, school.. and it repeats itself. 

For the last several weeks, I've been in a "funk".. Took a bit but I finally figured out what's been pulling me down.

At the age of 23, I've accomplished the biggest goal I've ever placed in front of me up to this point, getting a degree, and beginning a career. The thing is.. Now that I'm here, I'm unsure of what the next major goal is. God's teaching me to trust him DAILY.. a dear friend reminded me once that when we pray the Lord's Prayer we say "Give us this day our DAILY bread.." Not a weeks worth or a months worth or a years worth.. DAILY. Give us enough to get through THIS day.. God asks us to trust him, to let him bear our burden. It's sometimes crazy to think of our future as a burden, but when we stress about the details we can't control, or that are too far ahead, we make our future stressful. We tell God that we don't trust him enough to HAVE it, so we must worry.

It's kind of scary, SCRATCH THAT, REALLY scary to get to the point you needed to, to realize that there's another point you're headed towards.. You just can't see it yet. I literally have no idea what's next for me. I know that right now I'm teaching and I'm coaching. I'm investing in the lives of the teens put in front of me, while seeking Jesus to give me just what I need each day. And I'm learning, that that's enough.



Right now life for me is a transition. As weird as it sounds having a steady schedule and responsibilities to more people than my parents has been weird/fun/exciting/terrifying all at the same time. It's also scary to realize that the thing you're doing now, you won't be doing forever like you thought originally. I know there's something more I'm to be pursuing, my journey doesn't end here.. You might be thinking "DUH you're 23! You're journey is just beginning!" And as much as I know that in theory, I honestly figured I'd get in a classroom, and would have found my (forever) calling. What I'm finding is that it's my calling, for now.. I know now that the future holds a few new paths for me... What? I have no idea. So with this new strain of blog...be prepared for many posts about uncertainty, doubt, and a faith because I have a feeling that this transition is going to be full of all those things and more!